Divorcing in San Diego is hard because the cost of living is especially high. Because I’ve been through a divorce, I am often the first person to know when a friend or a friend of a friend is getting divorced. It is not uncommon for the biggest concern to be the house. Where will you go and how will you afford it? More often than not, the woman is scared and stuck, insisting she be the one to remain in the home.
In an effort to avoid stereotyping but being true to the experience, it’s typically women who’ve made the house a “home” and they often tie their identity to the space. It’s also common for women to have given up their careers creating more uncertainty as her life is most likely to change the most – new career, new home, new schedule. This is a lot of uncertainty and it’s natural to want to both shield your children from more change than is necessary and also to want to keep as much the same as possible in your own life.
Oftentimes though, it’s really not in the best interest to keep the house. Of course every situation is different. In my situation, there was a casita which could be rented out to generate additional income making the house more affordable. Even with the casita income though, for me, the home became more than I could maintain – the lawn, the utility bills and the maintenance.
My ex and I agreed I would remain in the home for three years until our oldest of three girls graduated. Before the three years though, we negotiated a sale and I moved out of the house six months early. Since I could not afford a four bedroom, my youngest daughter and I shared a room until her sister left for college. (We do what we need to do.)
Almost every part of divorce is stressful. You take on new responsibilities as there is no longer a division of labor. You have to figure out how to support yourself which is especially hard if you’ve given up a career to raise children. You have to navigate the unfamiliar divorce process. You have to get used to life in an empty house when you may be used to having children and a partner.
Moving in the best of circumstances is largely regarded as a life stressor. When it came time for my move though, I had no worries. In fact the weeks before I moved out of my house, I threw a New Years Eve party and a Chanukah party. I enjoyed every last morsel of a bigger house with an outdoor fire pit.
Most people going through a divorce aren’t this lucky but Silver Linings Transitions offers a solution. Rather than worrying about packing, unpacking and dreading your move, our company handles all the logistics of the move turning the experience into an opportunity to create a haven.
In as little as two days, you can be completely moved from one home to the next. For my move, this only took two days. You can watch this youtube video to see my own move and learn more about Silver Linings Transitions.
If you have a home to sell, Silver Linings Transitions partners with the Devore Realty Group who offers our services to clients who are buying or selling a home.
The night I moved out of the marital house and into my townhome, I felt relieved. I didn’t have to look at a sea of boxes. I had a space with new energy, free of the lingering memories I’d shared with my ex-husband. The night I moved, I pulled my car into my garage (which had been completely unpacked and organized). I invited friends and my kids over to be there for the “big reveal” and celebrate my transition. That night, rather than looking at a sea of boxes and worrying about how I would get it all done, I took a bubble bath. I want this for you.